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| I think... my feet should fall off. |
| 10.14.08 (8:40 pm) [edit] |
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Okay, so first off. I did almost wind up in a CVS. Then they never called me. However, I got an externship! At a hospital! Now I'm pulling seven, eigh, and nine hour days in which I have sat maybe a half an hour. In all of them. Ow. I started monday, and did a 7 hour day. Today I did 8, and tomorrow is planned for 9. I really do kinda wish me feet would fall off. The hospital is HUGE, with north, east, west, main and pavillion on floors 2-6. the first floor is the er, and the pharmacy is in the cellar, which is below the basement(which is the cafeteria) I went on four runs today. which is delivering the meds to each individual station. I like it more than I'd like retail though. I wouldn't be able to deal with the customers. But worst of all, I'm doing it for free. I get to do 100 hours of free work then they may hire me. I'm really hoping I get the job, despite the pain, it'll save me a lot of time, money, and effort. Anyway I have to sleep I got home at 9:45, and I have to get up at 6:30.
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6 Comments
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| My tblog member spotlight. |
| 09.23.08 (9:36 pm) [edit] |
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1) Real name, (or tBlog name if you'd rather not share your real name) : Lauren
2) Where are you from? New Jersey
3) How old are you?
Seventeen for two more days...
4) Favorite color?
A dark teal or peacock blue.
5) Favorite kind of music? Everything except jazz, or metal.
6) Favorite Movie? Either the labyrinth or mesmer.
7) How long have you been posting on tBlog? a little over a year.
8) What got you interested in blogging in the first place? It was either this or a paper and pen, and in my house, it would turn out to be eyeliner or something as equally ridiculous.
9 ) What other boards do you post on? none as of yet.
10) Favorite website(s), (other than tBlog)? thepetulantpoetess (fanfiction)
11) Dream vacation?
My dream vacation would have to be in Washington State in a little bed and breakfast in Forks.
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8 Comments
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| Random |
| 09.13.08 (3:02 pm) [edit] |
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Second bumper sticker ^. Have you ever met someone who could talk about something that only takes five minutes for an hour? I think we've all met at least one. Mine is my mom mom, she explained to me every aspect of what she needs me to do about twenty times over. Yay! My friend and I, lets call her aquaman, had a discussion on the hottest harry potter character, and I came to the startling conclusion that for me it was Severus Snape. AKA old enough to be my granfather with a voice like liquid dark chocolate. Very disturbing also was the fact that out of the movies I own, I still prefer him, even over my previous heartthrob Steven Straight. Maybe it's the libra comming out in me as my wackjob/psycho aunt tells me, and I just go for the voice. But man I saw a video of a tango where... lets just say I bookmarked it.
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2 Comments
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| I made a mistake |
| 09.13.08 (12:54 pm) [edit] |
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I apparently made a vey big mistake... Apparently the quote in my post Random Thoughts was not said by Tucker Shaw, and in fact I can't find where I found it... It comes up in google search but 'stupid me' didn't see the little ellipsis. I apologize for misleading everyone, and I definitely apologize to Tucker Shaw. (to all of the women... I was feeling a bit uncouth yesterday, and my inner fangirl had a heart attack when I found this) I won't delete it, because I believe that deleting would spare me the humility of calling a bright mind stupid. {Hangs head in shame.}
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0 Comments
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| Random thought |
| 09.12.08 (3:15 pm) [edit] |
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Wow. Gotta love men who can cook, but they still don't have brains. Or at least think we don't. I was looking up a recipe from tucker shaw and found a statement that would've been better left unsai, or at least partially unsaid... For example: "When I cook, I used roasted-walnut oil, made from roasted walnuts." Real informative...
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9 Comments
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| Bumper sticker of the day... |
| 09.12.08 (1:54 pm) [edit] |
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My friend and I have decided to start a bumpersticker of the day e-mail exchange. We send one to each other that we found and made us laugh. I figured I might as well post them here, I think we all need to laugh more... So, without further ado...
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4 Comments
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| 9-11 |
| 09.11.08 (5:10 pm) [edit] |
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It's really hard to believe that a little more than a handful of years have gone by since the terrible happenings of 9-11. My heart belongs to anyone that has suffered because of that horrible act, not just for the people who were harmed, or lost a loved one. No, it hurts me to know that we've condemned many people for an act that only few committed. Racial discrimination towards certain ethnicities are at a high now because of this. Families are getting attacked and browbeaten because of the act of those specified few.
I truly mean no disrespect, but foreigners in general now get the cold shoulder. Condemning them makes about as much sense as condemning all americans for one committing a mass murder.
I have no vocable qualms with anything the government has done because we've still not gotten the entire story, and you cannot pass judgment without it.
I almost lost an uncle who delivered to the world trade center, it was pure dumb luck that he wasn't sent there that day. So, I know how devastating it was to be pulled out of school to sit and wait by the phone. For news, whether it be good or bad. I do not truly know what families have went through that have actually lost someone simply because I did not, and it is an unequivocal amount of grief and contempt to attempt to lie side by side with any other circumstance.
So anyone who will have it, I truly wish you are on your way to a happier place. I offer my sympathies to whoever wants them. Finally I apologize to whoever needs it. I had nothing to do with the events of that day, but sometimes, someone, above all else, needs someone to apologize.
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6 Comments
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| I will never drink again... |
| 09.10.08 (8:59 am) [edit] |
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Well last night we sadly were informed of a reoccurrence of Squamous Cell cancer to my Grandfathers lung. Previously he had 1 1/4 lungs removed to combat the very same cancer. He acquired it in the Vietnam war from the Agent Orange that was widely used there. He goes for another set of scans next week friday. He isn't a transplant candidate because this cancer is known to reoccur and hit anything. We've known for a while there was something wrong, but now it's a definite. I wasn't close to him, but it still hits and shows you that even the best of us, the heros of this world are mortal.
On a lighter note, my uncle has a small italian restaurant that he just opened, and he asked me to sample the wines with the rest of my family. He valued my opinion, and asked me to help write the excerpt in the menu. We tasted different wines, then compared. I think everyone had a bit too much to drink considering no one ate after the news with my Grandpa, and I woke up with the biggest hangover over the equivalence of one large glass. My mom did too, and we sent my dad out for pedialyte, pepto, and gatorade and we both hoarded the tylenol. I don't understand why people drink for recreation if there's even the slightest chance you'd end up like that. It's like putting you hand on a hot stove, waiting until it heals, and doing it again. I'm groggy, and feel like I have a major case of medicine head. Never again, well not until I'm old enough to remember to drink pedialyte BEFORE I go to sleep.
And my dog attacked my cat, and my cat died. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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3 Comments
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| Just kind of chillin... |
| 09.08.08 (10:29 pm) [edit] |
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Wow, I look like I'm daydreaming... I was getting yelled at, while my friend snapped a photo. 
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10 Comments
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| Just for appleseeds. |
| 09.08.08 (9:30 pm) [edit] |
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(hmmm..... they always said it was the thought that counted)
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| ERM...Huh? |
| 09.08.08 (5:40 pm) [edit] |
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Okay, crisis averted, I think? I talked to my teacher. First he called me, then asked if it was okay for him to call me back in five minutes...
An hour and a half later... the phone rings. He tells me blatantly that *my externship* is no problem. Then he described he got a job at another school when things were looking bad, and now things are looking up. I said "Thats good." And he repeated the thing about my job, asked my birthday, and said goodbye. I said goodbye and hung up. Then gave my phone THAT look.(the look that says your confused, and the phone has the answer naturally being the only other thing that heard both ends of the conversation.) Said "Huh?". Then continued giving the phone THE look for about five minutes until I realized it was not going divulge it's secrets. (Darn inanimate objects, and their secret cult) I still don't really understand what the hell is going on, but, you know what... I'm not going to worry at the moment. Yup.
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| NO NO NO NO NO |
| 09.08.08 (10:08 am) [edit] |
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My teacher apparenly decided to quit today. Just a little over two weeks from my 18th birthday when he was supposed to get me a job in a hospital. Why does this happen? Everything seems to go great right up until your about to hit a milestone, then it's like god looks down and is like, "Hmm... no, she's not supposed to be happy. Can't let that happen." Then he just decides to make my life go awry again.
I'm the best worker in that class, been told that too many times, and now. I'm going to end up working in a cvs, making very little money. I'm going to scream. You know I thought I could trust this guy, the only person I actually trusted that was a male. He was a father figure to his class, and now, he did what everyone of the male figures in my life have ever done. Say basically go to hell when somehing important came up.
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2 Comments
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| Deformation of Character |
| 09.06.08 (11:24 am) [edit] |
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I just finished East of Eden by John Steinbeck. I was amazed by the literary work. When I was in high school, my literature teacher denoted his works. I however love them. Steinbeck can make you love or hate a character in a single chapter. I was amazed at how well I followed the story, and how easy it was to picture yourself there. He is a great writer who can make you feel as though you were there. If and when you read it, you have to read a chapter or two, then let it absorb.I have inducted myself into a book club which now consists or Grapes of Wrath(steinbeck) Wuthering Heights(Bronte) and other books that continue on in the persuit of a suitable deformation.
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3 Comments
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| Hairdryer? With ESP? |
| 08.27.08 (10:42 am) [edit] |
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Apparently I am a lucky girl, because today I got a hairdryer with ESP. Now, I understand that ESP means electro shock protection, but when your hairdryer says magic turbo on it, and right on the little green box it says "The only universal travel style blowdryer with ESP!" you cannot help but giggle a little bit. Then I was reprimanded by the tag, in CAPS it said: Do not submerse in water! Do not eat! Not to be left with children! Use supervision of adults! And (my personal favorite) Will not float! Oh, I don't know I'm feeling a bit rebellious today. I think I'm going to sit in a full tub while trying to play toy boats with my new(garage sale) hairdryer, while chewing on the electrified cord, and asking for predictions. While of course waiting for my parents to get home, and then berating them for leaving it home with me.
What should have tipped me off was the ity bitty note that said compare to Con~Pairs Pro PBreeze(? I think it said breeze, but there is a price sticker , from clover, over it) My new hairdryer is green and if they read the warning label, bimbo proof. However if they were really about to eat the hairdryer, do YOU think they can read?
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8 Comments
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| FIOS |
| 08.19.08 (9:37 am) [edit] |
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We have finally been able to procure FIOS, after months of being on the waiting for install list and then having technical difficulties. I wasn't allowed on the internet for months, but I am the residential computer whiz. HAHA, I broke free. FIOS, I must say, is a pain in the behind. Plus, the customer support sucks, you must call between 8 and 5 the recording plays like a mantra 8 & 5. Well that would be perfectly fine if my dad, who gets home at 7, didn't have to call.
I'm done school, passed with six honor roll certificates for six out of nine modules 95% and up. Even one 100%. Go me! Can't get a job until the 25th of September though, so I'm enjoying my final free summer before the need for a full time job and bills kick in. Anyway, I must get back to writing which I seem to be doing much of.
Blackcherry925
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7 Comments
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| Don't doctors have to pass a test or something? |
| 04.12.08 (7:18 pm) [edit] |
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I have to apologize now for the spelling in this post.
I haven't posted in forever. Wow.
I found out I couldn't get a job in pharmacy until I am 18. I finish school at the end of june. I got into an accident in January. My car died, so now it is unceremoniously buried in the vague vicinity of a junk yard. I am at the top of my class.
My parents went through a short lived seperation where I learned my father is a lech, and I will never truly like or trust him again.
My Aunt saw I wasn't getting better, and took me to some sort of shrink. He said, 'gasp' I have a main entre of depression onset by abuse, with a side order of bi-polar-ish tendancies.
I could have told him that when I walked into the room.
When he asked me if the abuse was ongoing I laughed at him and walked out. I've never met someone in that profession that was so blunt.
Yes, everything lost it's lustre again.
No, I did not wake up and say, hey lets be depressed for the next ten years.
Yes, they just took me off anti-depressants. Actually, anti psychotics because my doctor is an idiot and let an intern write my script, and he put Serequel's generic down.
Yes, the world feels like it could swallow me whole.
No, it won't, it's not that nice.
Yes, eventually this will go away.
And, finally, I don't care about eventually's right now.
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5 Comments
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| Well, today is the day... |
| 11.07.07 (9:15 am) [edit] |
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Today I got up, got into my car, and drove to school. Isn't that eventfull? Today is the day to start the rest of my life. I am officially beginning to start looking for a job dealing with pharmacy. Oh Joy! I don't want to do it, my parents don't think I should do it. But I'm going to. Pharmacy was an interest of mine since I was younger, I would always compare dosages, and make up concoctions. So when I got the oppourtunity, I jumped on it. It is not the first thing I want to do. Which is unnerving, to say the least, but it deals with what I am best at (math and science) more than psychology does. So I took that route, possible as a ladder to my dream career, possibly as a plateau. I don't know which it is yet... Maybe I'll find out soon. Some people in my class don't like me, and I don't like some people's attitude. From my last post I looked at it and realized, that I made it sound like I was on a different intelligence level from my teacher, and I don't. I meant I prefer to talk more professionally, and he doesn't at school. He can talk that way when he want's to. But, I was brought up in a not so proper town, and was immediately gifted with very good verbal skills. I need to be professional and older. Damn. It never gets any easier, and it never ends, and I am stuck in the middle of it all.
When I signed up for school I decided that it would be good for me; I would be forced into a social environment. Maybe I am wrong, I am excited to learn, but miserable I have to do it with other people. I am too conflicted for myself. I can't win for loosing, and it never ends. Some people call me a smart alec, some people say I have a superiority comples, but that's not it. I know I don't know everything, but I strive to know more. My teacher in high school even went as far as to tell me to slow myself down because I was making everybody else look bad. I have officially given up hope in humanity.
On a different topic, my friend is in love and fighting it: me I can't let anybody in enough to love. My boyfriend got somebody else pregnant, as he was saying he still loved me, he was the only one I let it. My friend thinks that it's unfair if I shut myself off, because she seems to think that I deserve the best, and there's someone for me, and how am I suppossed to meet them if I shut myself off. I sit here in evil blue scrubs reciting a demonic mantra "it'll be alright" and now I have to go because my lunch break is over.
Signing off,
Lauren
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2 Comments
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| Am I an invalid |
| 11.05.07 (3:13 pm) [edit] |
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I am going to get a big head. People in my class forget I am seventeen. I keep getting complimented by teachers and students alike that I am 'meshing' well, and apparently, my teacher told (a woman that lives down the street from me goes to the same school) my neighbor that he is amazed at how smart I am. How come, I feel like a complete invalid? I got told today I have a superiority complex from a girl that sits next to me, because I told her I had to 'dumb myself down'. We were trying to fake make a commercial. I do not talk like the other people in my class. In fact, I put myself on a different level from my teacher who's favorite phrases are 'that's hot', and 'that's what's up'. I was ready to spill out the side effects, the dosages, and the different types, while she wanted to act it out.
I question everything, and I'm learning. I just feel stupid. I am not particularly adept with my people skills, or physical confrontation, so I use my IQ. It's all I have. I am an easy going, go with the flow kind of person. I think of myself as intelligent, and anal retentive, things have to be perfect. I don't like gray areas. At all. I get pissed because there's no lines on the street, or because the desks aren't straight. If there's room for error I try to fix it. I do calculations in my head better than on a calculator.
I do not like to be put on the spot. At all, and yet that's what my teacher does to me every day. I do not talk like a seventeen year old, and I know I do not know it all. I know I won't ever know it all, and I think a mind is a beautiful thing to waste. Why does that mean I have a superiority complex? One of my many faults is that I care what other people say. If they think something is wrong I try to fix it, but I think she's the one wrong here. I have been at school for about three weeks, and I figured out what things mean that people who are leaving the school soon have no idea. I am one of the only ones to not have children. They keep telling me they forget that I only started three weeks ago, and why do I feel like the stupid one? Anyone?
I am the youngest to ever attend that school,
I think I'm doing a good job if I say so myself.
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5 Comments
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| AHHHHHH |
| 10.29.07 (6:23 pm) [edit] |
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I got my license today. Ahhhhhhh! I have the biggest tension headache ever, I freaked before my test. But I have it. It kinda scares me that I'm gonna be driving alone, but I'll get used to it.
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5 Comments
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| I started Wednesday |
| 10.20.07 (8:32 pm) [edit] |
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Hey, I haven't been able to write in a bit. I started school on Wednesday, so now between studying schoolbooks, and being exhausted I haven't had time. I'm actually in the 'popular' crowd. WOW! I actually got complimented by my teacher, my friend, and my friends daughter all in the same day. My teacher, who looks to be in his thirties (he refuses to tell us his age, because he doesn't want the students to feel weird because they're older than him) ended class early on Thursday, and he asked me to stay a little bit after to go over some math. Being the math lover * READ-GEEK *
that I am I agreed, and everything that he showed me I either learned in thirty seconds, or I already knew. When he asked me how I knew it, and I replied isn't it kind of common sense? He laughed and said not really, it took the other students three months to learn all this. I giggled at that. I'm actually fitting in, go figure. I talk to the whole class. Which is a hell of a lot for me, considering for sixteen years I swore off people, and had only a handful of friends each year. Then the past two years everything was worse/better, and I only talked to two people. The convivial side apparently was just waiting to burst out at semi-intelligent people. I am the youngest in my class by three years. The person I have the most to talk about with is a 39 year old woman, named Dorothy. My second day, Dorothy came up to me, and we were talking then out of the blue she asked what day I started, she thought I started like two weeks ago. I blushed, and said I started yesterday. Three people asked me what day I started and when said yesterday they were shocked. Apparently nobody settled in as quickly as I did. Wow. I honestly thought it was going to be the other way around, but it's awesome. Apparently theres a 39yr old man starting out in two weeks. My friend was joking saying that since I get along so well with the older women, then I'd better hope that this guy is happily married. I punched her. I wrote a poem the other day it was dark and gloomy and depressing, and I don't feel like it anymore. I'll post it if and when I'm in that mood again.
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4 Comments
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| Today again. |
| 10.09.07 (11:59 pm) [edit] |
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I have been very busy, and I apologise for not writing anything in a while. My last two days are the most eventful, here let me tell you what happened.
Yesterday, I went out, had a really nice dinner, and came home. I got out of the car.... and slammed my middle finger in the door. (has anyone ever experienced that gasp, and your brain doesn't even realize, that you need to take your finger out of the now closed dorjam) Then I came into my room, fighting tears, and found my phone(which I had left in the closet, and much to my dismay, now my dog can get into the closet on top of my dresser) in pieces all over my bedroom floor, along with my precious books, and numerous pairs of shoes. My brand new Samsung Sync. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. If there ever was a time when I was devlishly tempted to perform animal sacrifise it was then.
To recount todays activities I have to tell you a little history: My mom used to work at a dollar store, for ten years, I spent the better part of my childhood at that store. The store was ran like a family business, and everybody was really close. Everybody used to actually think the owner and my mother were siblings, and he treated her as family. My mother met her "friend" there. My mother and her "friend" owned a store, that their old boss got a loan for, after he rented the dollar store out. Her "friend" pushed her out, after we had busted our asses, and spent three months setting up the store, and said that my mother couldn't be put on the loan. My mother was devistated, That tore my family apart, we sold our house, and things went downhill from there. That said "friend" had the audacity to tell my mother that they should still be friends, and told her she thought of her as her own daughter.
The dollar store reopened and my we had been persued by my mothers ex-boss for almost six months. Finally this guy got a hold of my dad and asked him to do a job for him, something that is perfectly legit, because my dad has his own business. Today I spent from ten of seven until three oclock, staring at the cold hearted bitch, that scarred my mother, and changed a generally nieve, and good hearted person into something more vicious, and vindictave, something more like me. I went by the rule that your mothers attempt to imprint on your psyche from birth "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" I said eight words to her "Is my dad in there?" "No." & through grit teeth, "Thank you." He was starting to hint at stalker-ish behavior, so my mom finally agreed to meet with him. They both talked, and got to know each other again, and my mother agreed to go back to work for him. She missed it, because it was all she knew. So now I am officailly retiring for the night, and going to ponder how the hell this is going to work out.
On a lighter note: Has anyone ever heard the song Fish Heads, by Dr. Dementor, or Barnes & Barnes, as my mom told me their called.
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1 Comments
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| I'm baaaaacck! |
| 10.02.07 (8:15 am) [edit] |
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Sparatic nervous breakdown over. I took Lunesta, and i slept for four and a half hours, and it was the best sleep i've ever had. My friend gave me one. The only qualm I have is that it leaves a NASTY taste in your mouth. I read a book yesterday called sex signs. I'm messed up enough, so much so that I fit a libran personality almost to a tee. I want love, and yet I do not trust...... I'm to conflicted for my damn self. My friend got me the book for my bday. Its basially everything you need to know about your sign, I thought it was a crock. Unfortunately I was proved wrong, but I will never admit defeat. I told her I would ponder it another day. So whats going on, haven't posted in a while........
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6 Comments
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| HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME |
| 09.25.07 (7:37 pm) [edit] |
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ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YAY!!!!!
Today I am officially 17 and I got a car, a 2000 hyundai elantra. Happy birthday to me. Its suppossedly a full moon tonight, yay yay yay.
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4 Comments
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| Longing |
| 09.23.07 (8:20 pm) [edit] |
So he and I broke up today, because apparently he thought it was OK to cheat on me. He said "How am I supposed to love you when you don't love me, or even love yourself?" That was his reason on breaking up with me. The fun thing was I winged the high heels he got me at him. Wow. Only about 35 hours before my bday. Oh joy. He can't take all the blame I guess, I didn't introduce him to my parents. I just spent like 12 hours reading a *don't laugh* Fan fiction story, about (harry potters) Hermione and Snape, long story short, he rapes her under a curse, she was brought up catholic and refuses to abort. Snape spends the entire story learning how to love, and Hermione has to cope through everything. I have a hard knot in my gut, what if thats me. What if I don't know how to love. My mind is telling me I'm being totally silly, and my gut is telling me thats me. I was not welcomely embraced as a child, I was a product of boyfriend and girlfriend, got pregnant in trade school. My grandmother found out, and told her not to get an abortion. So I mean I love my grandmother, I love my brother, but thats about it. Thats a different love, it's the love where you have to say you like them, and only see them on holidays. And my friend says to all this: Love isn't real, I suppose that clears it all up. I wish the world would make sense.
My friend told me if I'm waiting for my soul mate, then I might as well start investing in the cats now. She has a vision for me as the old lady who lives in a house where; every couch has protection, the plastic lemon tree is lemon pledged, the cats out number the trinkets. Nice friend isnt she?
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3 Comments
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